“To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.” — Barbara Johnson
I shared this quote today because it got me.
But I also know that when you're a busy mom, somebody telling you to “be more present” can feel like one more thing to add to the list of things we're apparently supposed to be doing better.
No thank you.
I have raised a whole bunch of children. I am still raising children. My house is loud, somebody always needs something, there is perpetually somewhere we are supposed to be, and I can promise you I have never spent my days peacefully sitting on the floor soaking up every precious moment of motherhood.
That's just not real life.
And I don't think being present means that anyway.
I think it means finding the little moments inside the life you're already living.
Listen to the ridiculously long story.
You know the one.
It started with what happened at lunch, somehow involves somebody's pencil, three people you've never heard of, and approximately 47 side stories before we finally get to the point.
When you can, listen.
You don't have to stop everything every single time they start talking. Sometimes supper is burning and somebody else is hollering from the bathroom.
But when you can stop and really listen, do it.
Because what's little to us can be a really big deal to them.
Take them with you.
We tend to think spending time together has to be an activity.
It doesn't.
Go get groceries together. Let one ride with you to pick up an order. Fold laundry together. Let them help make supper. Water the flowers. Walk the dog.
Honestly, some of my best conversations with my kids happen in the car when we're just going somewhere.
It doesn't have to be a special outing to be special time.
Make little traditions.
This is probably one of my favorites because kids LOVE the silliest little traditions.
Maybe Friday is pizza night.
Maybe you always get ice cream on the last day of school.
Maybe birthdays start with pancakes.
Maybe you have a ridiculous song you play in the car that everybody knows.
It doesn't have to cost a bunch of money. It doesn't have to be Pinterest-worthy. And for the love, it does not need a theme.
Just do something often enough that eventually your kids say, “We always…”
That's how family traditions are made.
Say yes to the silly stuff sometimes.
Can we eat outside?
Sure.
Can I wear my rain boots even though it's not raining?
Whatever. Put your shoes on.
Can we have pancakes for supper?
Absolutely.
Can we turn this song WAY up?
Yep.
Obviously we can't say yes to everything. We're still trying to raise decent human beings here.
But some of the things we're tempted to say no to really don't matter.
Sometimes you can just say yes.
Ask something besides “How was school?”
Because we all know what the answer to that is.
“Fine.”
Okay. Excellent conversation. 😂
Try asking what made them laugh.
Who got in trouble?
What was the weirdest thing that happened?
Who did you sit beside?
What was the best part of today?
You'd be amazed what you find out when you ask a question they can't answer with “fine.”
Take the picture. And GET IN THE PICTURE.
I am preaching to myself here too.
We moms are really good at documenting everybody else's lives while somehow disappearing from all the pictures.
Get in it.
You don't have to lose ten pounds first.
You don't need makeup.
Your hair doesn't have to cooperate.
Twenty years from now, your children aren't going to look at that picture and think, “Wow, Mom really should've done something with her hair.”
They're going to see their mama.
Take the picture.
And sometimes? Do absolutely nothing.
You don't have to make every Saturday an adventure.
Your children do not need a cruise director.
Sit on the porch.
Watch a movie.
Let them pile in your bed.
Eat popcorn.
Color.
Go outside and watch them ride bikes.
Normal life counts.
Actually, I think normal life is where most of the good stuff happens.
This isn't about doing more.
That's really what I want you to hear.
Please don't read this and think you need to schedule “quality time” between soccer practice and the dentist appointment.
You are already doing a lot.
This isn't about creating more things to do.
It's about noticing a few of the moments you're already in.
Put your phone down sometimes. Leave it in your hand other times and take 37 pictures.
Listen to the story when you can.
Let them help even though it would be approximately 900% faster to do it yourself.
Laugh at the dumb joke.
Turn the music up.
Say yes to pancakes for supper.
And when the day goes completely sideways and none of this happens?
Tomorrow is another day.
We're not trying to create a perfect childhood.
We're just trying to be there for it.
And I think that's enough.
— Shannon
Sunny Meadow Boutique
Helping families create, celebrate, and preserve childhood's most meaningful moments.
